Nonsense

Red and gray placards sat atop each plate setting. Names had been brushed on with pigs blood but to all it looked like fine calligraphy.

I took their jackets at the door, asked them to join the others in the main room, then walked around slowly to pass out cocaine and wine. It was my first couples dinner party in three years. It took that long to let go of failure’s shame. It didn’t matter to most of them that I was alone. There was always an occasional wife or girlfriend that would pull me aside to ask how I was or to suggest a meetup with a man they thought would be perfect.

“I’m okay and no thank you but I appreciate it” is usually enough to remind them they’re missing out on drugs and fun by placing attention on me. I wanted to wait on others and make them feel special because it took me out of spending too much time alone or feeling sorry for myself.

In the past I would have cooked for hours but this time was different. I didn’t have hours so I hired a caterer and it was nice to have someone come out of the kitchen to keep the drinks and food flowing. He was a handsome lad and if I were younger maybe I would have asked him to stay the night so he could spoil me with breakfast in bed.

It is good to play with fantasy.