Nonsense

Sister Mary said we shouldn’t pray for a thing multiple times. She said it’s an insult to God.

Dad said I should never say the word God. Said I shouldn’t write His name out as I know it cause it was an insult to Him. I tried it. I wrote G-d for a while. Called him every alternative name I could find but in the end wound up still calling Him God.

Dad also said he was God. Said it while I was driving him to the metaphysical store he asked me to take him to on account of wanting me to buy him a crystal ball. I bought it. I also bought him incense and a ticket back home to Arkansas.

Turns out I didn’t like him. Not one bit. He’d gone on my computer when I wasn’t home and added software, changed my settings and did God knows what else. I was still overly trusting of people and given my history was kind of ironic. He asked me to take him to Mexico before his flight and finally I said no. I’d morphed into his temporary sugar mama and it would be several months before realizing that’s what I was.

Point is, I’d spent a lot of years asking God for a father over and over and over again. All those years went by with him saying no and me not understanding why. I figure when God wants people to shut up and move on He gives us what we think we want then stands back with an I told you so kind of look.

It’s real hard not to ask for things I want sometimes but remembering this lesson calms me, makes me realize I don’t always know the difference between want and need. So I just talk to Him and pray that all this quietness is on account of me needing to be a better listener.