Nonsense

–update–

some time ago i decided the truth would come to light and that it wouldn’t be me that needed to hold the candle.

was i sure it would happen in my lifetime?

hell no.

the light doesn’t feel as validating as i thought it would.

they don’t hate him but they don’t like or want to be around him either. i tell ’em he loves them and to be respectful but only because i want everyone to love one another and because respect is something my generation was pretty adamant about.

i don’t tell them there’s part of me that doesn’t know for sure who or what a dad is supposed to be. i think he’s just supposed to be love.

it didn’t turn out to be so simple. too many dad’s don’t agree.

still i lean on him. i jump in his lap every night and curl up like the child i am and ask him to hold me. he always makes time and never do i feel ashamed in my need.

it takes years to know if someone is full of it but even kids figure it out after a while.

what an interesting path we all choose.